Evolving When Love Has NO REality

It took me a while to learn that in relationships, growth doesn't stop. Not for one person individually - our relationships with ourselves - and certainly not for two (or more) people and their relationship together. The perspective I took on love "evolving" relates to the fact that evolution is ongoing; its fluid; it's everchanging.

 

As I took the time to reflect on my first "serious" or "real" relationship, I began to see all the things she had taught me. I took note of all the things I had learned about love through our conversations, through the way we communicated and how that changed over time, and through the way we interacted with one another as life changed us, together and apart. I saw how our bond impacted us as individuals, but also how we impacted one another together - and how outside forces played a role as well. As time passed, I saw how my poetry about her and our relationship came to life in other areas of my life. Similarly, I saw how poetry about other areas of my life came to live inside of our relationship, too.

 

Originally, this wasn't a book. It was just a journal for me to write about my feelings. Just a place for me to write about the different perspectives I had come to take as I journeyed through college and experienced other friendships and relationships. Somewhere along the way, I started writing about all of my relationships and left notes with all the poetry that they inspired. Diving into the reality of these relationships was, truthfully, only for me to read. Over time, however, I began to study the importance of vulnerability, which correlates to our mental and emotional securities and freedoms. The more I began to share my experiences, the more I began to see and hear conversations spark; I started to hear other men open up about the relationships and challenges they've faced; I started to see women open up about their relationships and challenges, too. It was comforting to share my perspective and truth through spoken word and it be received with pondering and reflection.

 

I want nothing more than for this book to be another medium for conversation. Another place where my words can shed light on pieces of my life where I didn't shine so bright; Another place of reference for those who read it and find themselves between the pages; Another place to hide when you feel as though nobody understands you; Another place to find comfort when you feel as though you've done all the wrong in the world; Another place to walk through this journey of life with me as I evolve.

 

Still, I am evolving. This book surely isn't the end of my evolution in relationships. However, as I entered the final stages of wrapping it together, I've concluded that I certainly do not want to be able to write another book like this. In E.W.L.H.N.R., I discuss how I have changed over the course of about 8 years and four relationships, five when we include my relationship with myself and six when we include my relationship with God. I've been single for about two years now. I have found a beautiful amount of peace, success, and love without having a woman by my side. Although I still search to share love, peace, and success with someone one day, I also realize that I don't want to go through another series of relationships to get there... I guess a piece of progress I'm still working on.

 

This book was a refining tool for me as I hope it is the same for you. As I release this into the world, I have come to accept all that is written in it. All the ups, downs, twists, turns, joys, pains, and more than anything, the understanding and wisdom that come along with this life. I hope that everyone who reads it can share in the ride. I hope you come to be able to stare yourself down through introspection: admit your faults, and also embrace the best version of yourself simultaneously. I pray you can come to accept the journey your life has given you, and I pray you come to love yourself, in full evolution, too.